We all know that best friends aren't like any ordinary friends. They're the ones who are there for you in the brightest of times and even in the darkest of times, who share tons of laughs with you, the one who you create billions of memories with, and the one who reassures you that everything is going to be okay. But how would you feel if the one who was there for you, laughed with you, and shared memories with you... left? It was April 20th of 2006. That was the day I lost my best friend.
The first day of 4th grade, not to mention that I've always loathed the first day of school because they were always the most scariest. Those days were the usual 'Who's my teacher this year?' or 'Who's in my class this time?' It's not much of a big deal, unless you got the worst teacher who yelled at you for making those very slight mistakes in that 'oh so difficult' math problem. Recess came and all of us rushed out carelessly to the playground. Giselle and I were just sitting down on the bench looking at all the returning 4th graders. Someone was missing. "Gess, where's Sam?" I asked. Giselle replied, "My mom was talking to her mom and remember how Sam was diagnosed with brain cancer? Well she got worse and it's gonna be hard for her to come back to school." My heart dropped and I was nothing but speechless.
Fortunately, Sam came to school as much as she could. But every time she walked into the classroom, I could see the pain in her eyes, not because of what the cancer was doing to her but because she was afraid of what's coming her way. I remember back in the 2nd grade when she was first diagnosed with cancer, I asked her gently if she was afraid to die. She simply said, "No". And that was it. Just a simple no. As days went by, she stopped coming to school because the doctor restricted her from going back. Every morning, we'd wait till the PA system came on to update us about Sam's condition and everybody would all pray together for her.
One day, our teacher told us that Sam will be in school but she won't be attending class with us because it's become a burden for her to walk up the stairs and instead, she'll be downstairs in another class. Giselle and I looked at each other, not sure whether to be happy or to be worried at the thought. We would visit Sam almost every lunch to eat with her. She was happy and it seemed as though she felt no pain and that brought me a sense of relief till one morning, when the PA system came on. They had told us that Sam was put into the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) at Queen's Medical Center last night. The class grew silent. I walked over to Giselle's desk and we both gave each other a hug filled with so much pain. We couldn't fight the tears that were already running down our face and onto each other's uniform.
I visited her almost everyday at the hospital, but every time I did, she was sound asleep. Each time I looked at her, I couldn't bring myself to say anything because I knew I needed to stay strong for the both of us, even though the only thing I felt was the sorrow and grief that was driven through me. At school one morning, I found out that she was brought home from the hospital so I visited her there. She was sitting on the floor in her favorite purple princess sleep gown. Her face lit up when I walked through the door. She tried getting up but I saw that she was struggling so I just sat next to her. I brought her a precious moments snowglobe. I watched as she shook the globe and she gave out a light smile.
When I got to school, everyone was asking me how she was doing. I assured everyone that she was doing well. The PA system came on and told us that Sam was put back into the ICU, this time on life support. I visited her again at the hospital. Once again, she was fast asleep. "Hi Sam. This is Mel," hoping that she could hear me. She did. She grabbed my hand slowly and held onto it as tight as she could but kept her eyes closed. "I just want you to know that I'm here and that everything is going to be okay. Keep in mind that God will always be with you." I rested my hand on the railing next to her bedside, still holding her hand.
It was August 20th of 2006, we all had been informed that Sam's mom had pulled the plug on her life support because her brain was already dead and the machine was only helping her to breathe.
The first day of 4th grade, not to mention that I've always loathed the first day of school because they were always the most scariest. Those days were the usual 'Who's my teacher this year?' or 'Who's in my class this time?' It's not much of a big deal, unless you got the worst teacher who yelled at you for making those very slight mistakes in that 'oh so difficult' math problem. Recess came and all of us rushed out carelessly to the playground. Giselle and I were just sitting down on the bench looking at all the returning 4th graders. Someone was missing. "Gess, where's Sam?" I asked. Giselle replied, "My mom was talking to her mom and remember how Sam was diagnosed with brain cancer? Well she got worse and it's gonna be hard for her to come back to school." My heart dropped and I was nothing but speechless.
Fortunately, Sam came to school as much as she could. But every time she walked into the classroom, I could see the pain in her eyes, not because of what the cancer was doing to her but because she was afraid of what's coming her way. I remember back in the 2nd grade when she was first diagnosed with cancer, I asked her gently if she was afraid to die. She simply said, "No". And that was it. Just a simple no. As days went by, she stopped coming to school because the doctor restricted her from going back. Every morning, we'd wait till the PA system came on to update us about Sam's condition and everybody would all pray together for her.
One day, our teacher told us that Sam will be in school but she won't be attending class with us because it's become a burden for her to walk up the stairs and instead, she'll be downstairs in another class. Giselle and I looked at each other, not sure whether to be happy or to be worried at the thought. We would visit Sam almost every lunch to eat with her. She was happy and it seemed as though she felt no pain and that brought me a sense of relief till one morning, when the PA system came on. They had told us that Sam was put into the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) at Queen's Medical Center last night. The class grew silent. I walked over to Giselle's desk and we both gave each other a hug filled with so much pain. We couldn't fight the tears that were already running down our face and onto each other's uniform.
I visited her almost everyday at the hospital, but every time I did, she was sound asleep. Each time I looked at her, I couldn't bring myself to say anything because I knew I needed to stay strong for the both of us, even though the only thing I felt was the sorrow and grief that was driven through me. At school one morning, I found out that she was brought home from the hospital so I visited her there. She was sitting on the floor in her favorite purple princess sleep gown. Her face lit up when I walked through the door. She tried getting up but I saw that she was struggling so I just sat next to her. I brought her a precious moments snowglobe. I watched as she shook the globe and she gave out a light smile.
When I got to school, everyone was asking me how she was doing. I assured everyone that she was doing well. The PA system came on and told us that Sam was put back into the ICU, this time on life support. I visited her again at the hospital. Once again, she was fast asleep. "Hi Sam. This is Mel," hoping that she could hear me. She did. She grabbed my hand slowly and held onto it as tight as she could but kept her eyes closed. "I just want you to know that I'm here and that everything is going to be okay. Keep in mind that God will always be with you." I rested my hand on the railing next to her bedside, still holding her hand.
It was August 20th of 2006, we all had been informed that Sam's mom had pulled the plug on her life support because her brain was already dead and the machine was only helping her to breathe.
For a long time, after Sam's passing, my faith and trust in God completely diminished and all I did was question his acts and why he did the things he did. I couldn't help but wonder why he took my best friend away. Letting go was never the easy part. But making new friends, especially after losing one was probably one of the hardest things I had to do because I was afraid of having to deal with the hurt of losing another one. I knew in my heart that no one could ever replace Sam's spot in my life, but it was because of her that I am who I am today.
Sammi was an inspiration to many, especially me. She simply said no because what she was afraid of was not being able to see her friends anymore. When she learned that she first was diagnosed with cancer, the doctor had told her that she had only a couple weeks to live. She answered back with a stern reply, "Do not tell me how much time I have left. Only God can. He's the only one who can say when I'm leaving." The belief and the love she had in God brought her to live 2 more years here on earth, instead of 2 weeks. Samantha came to school even though the cancer was bringing her nothing but pain in order to learn all that she could on earth before she left to go to Heaven and to spend every lasting second with her friends.
Sam and I have always shared one dream together and that was singing. Before she past, she made me promise her to never stop chasing my dream and to continue this dream for the both of us. Over the years, I've grown from my past and I owe it to my best friend to live my life the way she wanted me to live it and that is to be happy. It was because of her that giving up was never the option for me because she taught me how to remain strong no matter what negativity comes shooting right at me. She’s the reason I believe that miracles exist, but happen in mysterious ways. Till this very day, no matter what obstacle or whatever it is that brings me down, I think of what Sam said to that doctor. I know that she's still with me and still watching over me. She will forever be my best friend and my unforgettable angel and for this, I believe.
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